Guinness is an almost five year old male sable ferret. He was rescued by SAFE a few years back and appropriately named “Mr. Bouncer” due to his hyperactive antics. When I adopted “Bouncer” from his foster mom I just had to change his name. It’s not that it wasn’t perfect for him, it was me. I just couldn’t have a “Mr.” In my menagerie. It didn’t take long to notice that his dark sable fur matched the rich color of my husband’s favorite beverage. Plus, Guinness acted like he had already had a few of his namesake.

He didn’t earn the “Air” moniker until he went to Candy Coward’s house while I was on vacation. Candy had a plexi-glass divider in the doorway from her living room and kitchen. It was high enough for the cats to jump over, but not her ferrets. Guinness wasted no time making a leap for the good eats in the kitchen. Her son Sean quickly took to the challenge and added another sheet of plexi-glass to the barrier. Guinness checked the direction of the air, jumped up a few times, and then swiftly scaled the near by bookshelf and slipped over the so-called “ferret proof” wall. At this point it was ferrets 2, humans 0.

Sean had to then devise yet another obstacle. He fitted a third piece of Plexi-glass to the back of the bookshelf so that the fuzzbutt couldn’t get through and reach his target. Sean, amazed by Guinness’ lack of fear and death defying leaps named him “Air Guinness.” Guinness came home the next day, but we were all certain that the master of escapes would have kept trying until he got through.

That story took place a few years ago. Guinness has grown a little bit older and he isn’t quite as spry as he used to be. After moving into our new place I built a play area for my fuzzies that surrounded their cage. This way that could romp without me having to worry about the “little accidents” that may occur. Their play area is a set of dog pens that have been linked together and then covered in a blue tarp. The tarp is scratch proof and it stops them from climbing up and over the bars of the pen. On their first inspection every inch of the mini-wall, the corners, and carpeting was sniffed and scratched at.

Once that curiosity was sated Guinness immediately climbed to the top of the Midwest cage to survey the situation. He looked in all directions, even perching precariously on the edge as if to jump. The he turned his rear to me and climbed back down the side of the cage. This was the first time that I had ever seen a ferret climb back down from the top of a cage. Mine usually just wait until you come and rescue them. Yet, time after time, Guinness slid his bottom over the edge and carefully dropped and caught himself as he maneuvered to the floor. I laughed to myself, assured that “Air Guinness” was grounded. For three weeks he hadn’t tried to go up the cage to get out. He learned that the leap was just too far for him. He would make a jump at the side of the pen, but was at least an inch or so from clamping his little paws on the edge and pulling his cubby rear over. The humans had won! Or so I thought.

As I sat down to write this article I had to go to the ferret pen to investigate an unusual amount of scratching noises. Nothing seemed amiss, so I went for a potty break only to see Guinness tip over the trash can in the bathroom. I laughed at the irony, figured that he just got lucky, and placed him back in the play area. Back again at my computer I typed away only distracted by a blur that I caught out of the corner of my eye. This time I put Air Guinness back into his cage. The score is now Ferrets 4, Humans 0.

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